Lunch hour confessions.

So today is Monday. I find myself thinking of lines from "Office Space" that apply directly my workplace. Everyone who has done work in an office for a company has experienced the "Office Space" effect too. We all have our own version of the TPS Report and things about our office and co-workers that drive us nuts.

All in all, my current workplace is good! A small company full of interesting characters that certainly keep things interesting. My own axe to grind has to do with lunch and our breakroom/kitchen where folks eat.

Axe 1: The hot pocket. I often bring my lunch to work and try to always (with one marked fishy exception) be concious of the way what I bring will smell like after being heated. Not everyone in my office remains aware of this.

Take the hot pocket lady. She brings a hot pocket or lean pocket to eat every single day she's in the office. First of all, that is disgusting. In the words of Dane Cook, "I have never eaten a hot pocket and afterwards looked back on it and thought 'that was a great decision.'" She heats up that chamber of processed meat goo and cheese yuck and eats it. And it always stinks in a way that permeates the office for an hour at minimum. The smell makes me think that someone's kid has come to visit and brought nasty "kid food" with them. Ok, I feel better. Moving on.

While in this vein, one more thing! Then I promise I will make a list of all the things I have to thankful for and quit complaining:

Axe 2: The loud phone talker. My office sells products directly to consumers, so we have a sales staff. Some of our sales staff are very loud and boisterous and talk on the phone in a manner where everyone can hear them. Every word, every call.

"Hey... how ya doin? Bobby Salesguy here. I was just thinking about your TPS report and I wanted to call and shoot you straight on this and that and the other....Right back atcha big guy!" This goes on all day and at volume that can be heard by anyone who cares to listen. While this seems like no big deal, lighten up and join the Bobby Salesguy party; it becomes grating. This person also has the habit of announcing their inner monologue of thoughts, songs, limericks, jokes, sayings, etc out loud.

But I am no different from anyone else at work today in their office/cubicle/workspace. Every co-worker has their qualities that seem unbearable, but the same person can really cheer you up on a day when you're more in the right frame of mind to laugh along.

As for the hot pocket - it will take me longer to come up something that redeems this habit. Maybe I'll just bring in an extra sandwich and leave in the refrigerator with this person's name on it.