The Joys of the Insured

Currently I work in an insurance office. It's not my calling, it's not my career, it's a job for now. That's it, that's all.

Some days I think I should not work and focus solely on going back to school so I can begin fulfilling some of those big dreams and aspirations that I have. Unfortunately, aspirations don't pay off the car loan. And as my car is currently running on its 8th or 9th car life, I must work to pay off the car loan.

But while I'm in ze cube at my insurance job, I do try to find the things that I enjoy and cling to them. Namely, I like office supplies. Highlighters and binder clips being two of my favorites. I'm not sure why someone hasn't tried to create a more environmentally friendly version of the binder clip. Maybe made of really strong pressed corrugated cardboard? And highlighters. I love to color coordinate my work. Red folders for one thing, green for another. Blue highlighters for this month, orange for next month, and so on. It feeds my inner control freak.

Now, we certainly cannot forget my most favorite office supply fetish:

ALL HAIL THE POST-IT!

Don't call the men in the white coats yet, I have my reasons. You can use a post-it note for so many things: reminder notes, status updates on ongoing projects, wallpaper for ze cube and tabs in my great big, full of crap folders. I've also found them excellent ways to send incognito funny messages to co-workers. Imagine getting an important-looking file on your desk, opening and finding a neon orange post-it note with the words "Twerk it." It might just brighten up your day!

Also, guess what people who call your insurance company in a fury about something but never read their mail - READ YOUR MAIL. AND, don't sign anything without reading it...EVER! If everyone did this, my working life would be so much easier. No one would call me losing their minds because they got a $2 scheduled increase in their premiums, which they received notice on and agreed to. Oy vey. That's all I can say about it.

Moving on from all that unpleasantness. Today is my Friday :)

Lunch hour confessions.

So today is Monday. I find myself thinking of lines from "Office Space" that apply directly my workplace. Everyone who has done work in an office for a company has experienced the "Office Space" effect too. We all have our own version of the TPS Report and things about our office and co-workers that drive us nuts.

All in all, my current workplace is good! A small company full of interesting characters that certainly keep things interesting. My own axe to grind has to do with lunch and our breakroom/kitchen where folks eat.

Axe 1: The hot pocket. I often bring my lunch to work and try to always (with one marked fishy exception) be concious of the way what I bring will smell like after being heated. Not everyone in my office remains aware of this.

Take the hot pocket lady. She brings a hot pocket or lean pocket to eat every single day she's in the office. First of all, that is disgusting. In the words of Dane Cook, "I have never eaten a hot pocket and afterwards looked back on it and thought 'that was a great decision.'" She heats up that chamber of processed meat goo and cheese yuck and eats it. And it always stinks in a way that permeates the office for an hour at minimum. The smell makes me think that someone's kid has come to visit and brought nasty "kid food" with them. Ok, I feel better. Moving on.

While in this vein, one more thing! Then I promise I will make a list of all the things I have to thankful for and quit complaining:

Axe 2: The loud phone talker. My office sells products directly to consumers, so we have a sales staff. Some of our sales staff are very loud and boisterous and talk on the phone in a manner where everyone can hear them. Every word, every call.

"Hey... how ya doin? Bobby Salesguy here. I was just thinking about your TPS report and I wanted to call and shoot you straight on this and that and the other....Right back atcha big guy!" This goes on all day and at volume that can be heard by anyone who cares to listen. While this seems like no big deal, lighten up and join the Bobby Salesguy party; it becomes grating. This person also has the habit of announcing their inner monologue of thoughts, songs, limericks, jokes, sayings, etc out loud.

But I am no different from anyone else at work today in their office/cubicle/workspace. Every co-worker has their qualities that seem unbearable, but the same person can really cheer you up on a day when you're more in the right frame of mind to laugh along.

As for the hot pocket - it will take me longer to come up something that redeems this habit. Maybe I'll just bring in an extra sandwich and leave in the refrigerator with this person's name on it.